Hi i know you're not exactly a therapist or something but you're smart and intelligent and you understand people and i just need to vent. See, i started cutting 2 weeks ago, and it just gets worse and worse. I'm more fucked up than ever. Therapy hasnt had any results on my depression so i need an answer from a real person: what can I do to be more happy? What makes you happy?
I don’t know. I think you would be best off talking to a person who used to cut and doesn’t anymore—they would have the personal experience to draw upon in talking to you about this. To a very large degree we live in a shitty world that doesn’t take account of human beings very well, and I think a part of growing up and living is learning to how to recognize what is an enemy of human well-being and what strengthens human well-being. And a lot of what undercuts our human well-being are the messages we take in from society that tell us we are not worth very much. Those kind of messages, to put it bluntly, are a load of shit.
I often think of a scene from Thomas Hardy’s ‘Tess of the d’Urbervilles’. She has been raped, and in the late nineteenth century England she lives in, that means that she has lost her inherent value as a woman and is worthy of nothing but abuse and abandonment. She’s a ‘fallen woman’. The man who raped her undergoes a superficial Christian conversion and approaches her to get her to forgive him—essentially so that he can feel better about himself—and she is justifiably angry and refuses. What you need to understand is that just as the world blames her for being raped, Tess blames herself for being rape. She is convinced she is going straight to hell, etc, so this is a very important moment.
"Thus speaking she turned from the stile over which she had been leaning, and faced him; whereupon his eyes, falling casually upon the familiar countenance and form, remained contemplating her. The inferior man was quiet in him now; but it was surely not extracted, not even subdued.
'Don't look at me like that!' he said abruptly.
Tess, who had been quite unconscious of her action and mien, instantly withdrew the large dark gaze of her eyes, stammering with a flush, ‘I beg your pardon!’ And there was revived in her the wretched sentiment which had often come to her before, that in inhabiting the fleshly tabernacle with which nature had endowed her she was somehow doing wrong.”
She has been socialized to feel inferior and thus worthy of abuse, a feeling that translates into feeling that she is condemned for even being born as a woman (her body=her fleshly tabernacle), at the same time there simmers underneath an unconscious anger. And it’s a real anger that points at a root reality—that she has been violated in a fundamental way. Because the root reality is: all people are born with inherent value. No matter who you are.
either i broke google maps or they introduced a no-fucks-given setting
Maybe it’s bus mode.
being black is really wonderful and convenient bc i can just be sitting here in my room like this
and whenever people come looking for me to do stuff i dont even really have to hide all i have to do it turn off my light and
and then when they leave i just
1) The day my sister got back from the hospital after a suicide attempt. I didnt let go for about an hour.
2) Kid just found out his brother was shot and killed.
3) A Russian war veteran kneels beside the tank he spent the war in, now a monument.
4) Man sobbing at animal shelter. After being jailed briefly and his dog Buzz Lightyear impounded he couldn’t afford the $400 to get his pet back.
5) A firefighter gives water to a koala during the devastating Black Saturday bushfires that burned across Victoria, Australia, in 2009.
6) Alcoholic father with his son
7) Robert Peraza pauses at his son’s name on the 9/11 Memorial during the tenth anniversary ceremonies at the site of the World Trade Center.
8) Greg Cook hugs his dog Coco after finding her inside his destroyed home in Alabama following the Tornado in March, 2012
9) After two double lung transplants and years of battling cystic fibrosis, my good friend passed away last Saturday. This was one of the last pics taken with his mother.This always wrecks me
This is real. And I don’t usually post things of such serious nature but, for some reason, I feel like some people need to see this.